Monday, August 16, 2010

Wishin' and Hopin'

Its been an interesting couple of days.  I took a HPT on Sunday am before I went running and as suspected it was a BFN.  While I was disappointed, I knew what it would be.  Saturday I had cramps but they were different than my normal cramps.  They were lower and dull uncomfortable feelings.  Sunday I had some early spotting and started working through my feelings of knowing this month was not a success.  I'm glad my hubby was out of town so I didn't have to subject him to a day of junk food while watching cheesy LifeTime movies...yes, lifetime.  Thankfully, I don't remember much of it. 

I am not sure how so many women go through this roller coaster of waiting and hoping only to have BFN.  Their strength and stories I find comfort in.  They give me hope and reasons to not feel too sorry for myself.   Some are stories are so traumatic that I can't even image going through it, while others make me laugh out loud.  I'm very thankful they have shared their stories. 

AF is suppose to arrive in the next couple of days.  But with my spotting I know it is hours away.  While I've told a few friends who knew what was going on that I've started my period, I'm still secretly hoping I'm preggo.  I've started to wrap my head around starting the next cycle of Clomid and think I'll try not to over speculate what i may or may not be feeling.

Reality bites!

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