Monday, October 18, 2010


Yup, I'm knock up! I think I'm still in shock. Last Monday I was expecting AF and figured by weds my late period was from all the stress I've been under. Certain that pregnant was not the outcome, I bought a test to cause my body to relax. All the pms symptoms and none of the early peg symptoms, I confidently took the test.

All I can say is, time stopped.

Wholly shit!

While this is what what we've been striving for I don't think I was ready for reality to set in. I'm a planner and in disbelief we accomplished getting pregnant. The test showing two lines is safely in a cabinet waiting patiently to be public. I find my self going and checking it to make sure it is there. I never imagined that this plastic stick would occupy so much of my thoughts.

To be honest, I'm scared. Am I ready? Are we ready? Why haven't I completed all though things I wanted to do before getting pregnant? Will I really need to stop eating sugar?

I like being the only one that knows. I'm torn between keeping it to myself and sharing w the hubs. He will be so happy and I can't wait to see his face. Will tonight be the night to tell?

WOW, I am pregnant. Breath in, breath out.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Decisions, decisions

"did you manage to stay on track with eat-clean diet over the weekend?" this is the question on Tosca Reno Eat Clean post on Facebook. Uh, no. Actually BFN. I wasn't even totally on track to begin with. I find comfort in all the posts saying they too were not successful. It it true, comfort in numbers.

There were many posts of success. They made it sound so simple and easy. just plan. As a girl who loves a plan, I cannot seem to make a plan and stick to it. I find today a particularly challenging day. I've eaten anything that resembles junk food in our house. Mostly, because I'm bored and stressing about life and trying to conceive. While I sat on the sofa eating cobbler I ponder if my over indulgence in sugar is causing trouble with getting pregnant.

What I seem to realize day after day is I'm letting the bad decisions take control. I must work on that. Fresh beginning everyday and better luck this coming weekend.