Monday, August 9, 2010


I can't seem to focus on anything but wondering if I'm pregnant. I wonder if I'm normal in my obsession (probably not). I do find that looking at the big things in my life when a decision or if I’m waiting for something, I find I have a lack of concentration. Once I have my answer I'm sure I’ll be able to get back to normal. I've researched, again today, feelings I'm having in my body looking for clues. I am starting to wonder how I’ll feel when I see a + and what my response will be. This has been such a roller coaster of emotions and to be honest I wasn't sure I'd ever be here hoping I'd be pregnant.

This weekend I struggled with food, focus but I did get up and jog 9 miles on Sunday. I try so hard to eat "clean" but when it comes down to making the choices I go for the want vs. what’s best for me. To tell you the truth, when I've made clean eating food its usually delish and very satisfying. I just wish I could defeat my desire for sugar. Dessert just calls my name. I hear it takes 21 days to make it a habit. Do I dare and make a bet with myself? I've been eating dessert for over 30 years, no wonder it’s hard to cut it out.

Pregnancy and diet topics are my biggest worries. I hope I get an answer soon, so I can get back to life.

~The Red Head

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