Waiting - ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Mother nature is truly testing my patience. I'm so used to planning ahead which makes time fly but not this week. Today is 10dpo and I've wasted 3 HPT.  I've been searching my body for symptoms of PMS or pregnancy.  I've had NOTHING out of the ordinary.  I did find a website which has provided me with some peace during this 2wk wait.  It takes your whole cycle and breaks it down day by day and marks when you should test.  Somehow, having this formal page tell me to test on Tuesday makes me calm down.  http://www.pregnology.com/pregnancy-test.php


While I do think today was to early to test, I'm still disappointed.   I'm praying these next few days go by fast because I'm afraid I won't fit into my pants from all this stress eating...

~ The Red Head 

Negative...

I'm rather numb today.  I purchased pregnancy test yesterday will the intention to test on Friday which would be 8DPO.  But I took it this morning and it was negative.  I kept staring at it hoping a second line would appear.  Then I went back to the calendar and the web for comfort.  I haven't found any. 

I ran through my mind the last 23 days and I'm second guessing everything.  I really thougth we had done the deed when it counted but then I'm not even sure if I released an egg.  I guess it was too much to expect to get pregnant first month trying.  I just truly thought that taking the Clomid would make it happen. 

Now, I just wish AF would come so i could plan for next month. 

Lovin' the hand held blender

So, a few weeks ago I purchased a Kitchen Aid immersion blender which I've been trying out with several recipes.  I bought it so I could make smoothies.  In my attempt to eat clean, I know drinking the smoothies from the stores are full of sugar and bad calories I was going to enjoy but healthy. 

My first attempt was not tasty.  The blender is great.  Put together fresh strawberries, scoop of vanilla whey power (cleanest on the market...NO sugar in any forms) skim milk.  I blended that together and it did not taste good, so I added some cottage cheese which was in a recipe I saw.  That did not improve the taste - go figure.  Needless to say, I had to drink it out of a straw and was not encouraged with my first attempt. 

Second try was much better.  I used frozen raspberries, three quarter scoop of whey protein, 1 banana and some vanilla yogurt.  I hit the jackpot!  this was yummy. 

Then with the success with the smoothie, I figured i would venture out with my favorite dessert...chocolate tofu mousse.  I had been making it with a small food processor which was too small and to many parts to wash.  This hand blender did the job beautifully.  It blended the tofu and melted chocolate just as well and only one part to wash. 

I can't wait to see what else I can blend.  I will be trying peach sorbet soon.  I'm thinking frozen peaches, vanilla yogurt and vanilla whey protein.  We'll see.  Now, I'm waiting for the Hubby to come home with pizza.  Balance the good with the bad:)

~ The Red Head

Preoccupied

I can't seem to focus on anything but wondering if I'm pregnant. I wonder if I'm normal in my obsession (probably not). I do find that looking at the big things in my life when a decision or if I’m waiting for something, I find I have a lack of concentration. Once I have my answer I'm sure I’ll be able to get back to normal. I've researched, again today, feelings I'm having in my body looking for clues. I am starting to wonder how I’ll feel when I see a + and what my response will be. This has been such a roller coaster of emotions and to be honest I wasn't sure I'd ever be here hoping I'd be pregnant.




This weekend I struggled with food, focus but I did get up and jog 9 miles on Sunday. I try so hard to eat "clean" but when it comes down to making the choices I go for the want vs. what’s best for me. To tell you the truth, when I've made clean eating food its usually delish and very satisfying. I just wish I could defeat my desire for sugar. Dessert just calls my name. I hear it takes 21 days to make it a habit. Do I dare and make a bet with myself? I've been eating dessert for over 30 years, no wonder it’s hard to cut it out.


Pregnancy and diet topics are my biggest worries. I hope I get an answer soon, so I can get back to life.

~The Red Head

OPK strips are addicting

I was excited on Tuesday to finally get the 2 matching purple lines on the OPK strip and didn't freak out when it was still purple on Weds.  Thursday  i took THREE tests and two were definitely positive and I started to worry.  I spent the afternoon reading all sorts of info regarding if this was normal, OK or if my PCOS was causing the problem.  Needless to say, I took a THIRD test when we got home from a soccer game around 10pm and it was negative which got me excited again that I had O'd.  So, for good measure I thought I'd double check today at 10am with another test.  Well, I'm back to worrying a bit.  The line was very close if not the same color as the control.  I'm thinking the negative on Thursday is from all the water and beer i drank at the game.  Guess in 10 days I'll know. 

I am starting to worry that my PCOS is really going to play a bigger role in TTC than I/we had hoped.  I think our odds are good that there was potential for fertilization but those darn tests now have me worried.  I go back and forth because I did not have any surge signs until Tuesday.  I had been testing since the Friday before.  Now, I'll just be extra sensitive to what my body is feeling and wondering if it is AF or preg.  I have one more strip left, so yes, I will be testing again today. 
ARGH!!  Why is this so hard??

Clean eating attempt

I'm making decent attempts at eating clean and now with the potential of being pregnant, eating healthy is on my mind.  I'm scared to gain too much weight with pregnancy.  I'm all ready 15 lbs over and its been a daily struggle to stay at that weight and my desire to be thinner is a constant. 

I really like the eat clean diet.  As much as I don't want to admit it, this is how my mother eats and its no wonder she is thin and if she wants to eat a bag of oreo's once in a blue moon, she  doesn't freak out.  So, I'd like to say my eating habits have improved immensely since I've gotten the book and tried recipes, but I'm still over weight.  I still struggle with the dessert and sugar that I use to satisfy some emotional eating. 

While I've found some successful recipes like black bean brownies, tofu mousse.  I tried to make her smoothie and it was just gross.  I bought whey protein which is the cleanest on the market (it has no form of sugar/sweetener) in it.  My smoothie had lots of fresh strawberries, milk, whey protein, ice cubes and cottage cheese.  IT WAS GROSS.  Not so much the taste but the smell.  It needs something and I can't figure out what.  I think the smell is from the whey.  I'm going to have to experiment. 

Plan out the window.

Why do I even try? My husband and I have decided now is the time to start a family. Me, being the planner - got right on it! I had it so planned out that I would "ovulate" over a weekend and my hubby and I would spend a romantic weekend together. So, we spent the weekend in a nice hotel while I kept testing for ovulation.


I'm one of those obsessive people that when something is on a timeline and its NOT on time, I keep trying to make it get back on track. Of course, I don't have control of when my body decides to ovulate, so i do the next best thing. I take the OPK twice a day. I've researched ovulation timing/delayed and pretty much everything. Some makes you feel better while others make you feel worse. The wonderful thing about blogs and the internet is there is always answers.
Today, I finally got the POSITIVE that ovulation is on its way! Whoo-hoo! Just gotta say, its a lot of work getting pregnant.